Conversation in the car tonight (with teenage DD and DD’s friend)
Self: D’you wanna hear a REALLY cheesy Christmas song, then?
DD/DDF Go on then.
(Puts on The Stowaway)
DD Is that Kylie Minogue then?
S No, it’s supposed to be the Doctor. I mean, she’s saying what he said to her.
DD What did he say – he’ll run and he’ll roll all over the ground?
DDF He’d have to be a bit pudgy.
DD Can’t be that doctor, then.
DDF It’s a Dalek
S Daleks can’t roll. They’d never be able to get up again.
DDF How do Daleks reproduce?
S Good question. I think they grow in tanks or something (begins lengthy exposition of Genesis of the Daleks, which is interrupted by:
DD (loudly) IM-PREG-NATE! IM-PREG-NATE
DDF How do you tell the sex of a Dalek?
S Very carefully?
DD (as chorus comes round again)
“So I’ll run and I’ll roll and I’ll cover the ground
Next Christmas I’ll see you, I’ll be around….”
S (unwisely) If you see David Tennant, tell him he can roll around and cover the ground with me any time he likes
DD+DDF (horrified) UUUUURRRRGGGGHHH!